Inner Beauty Analyst T-Shirts

"I broke up with Carl when I realized even his inner beauty was hideous."

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

Have you got your make up on yet?

"Botox."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"More concealer?"

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

The return of Miss Subways

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

"She's genetically modified, you know."

It finally happened, models so thin they only consist of few molecules.

"The perfume is only £20, the antidote is £250!"

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"One day, I'll have teeth like pearls...skin like silk...and a mind like a steel trap!"

Martina Klein

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

Animal cosmetic testing

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!