Inner Beauty Analyst T-Shirts

"I broke up with Carl when I realized even his inner beauty was hideous."

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

Have you got your make up on yet?

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"Botox."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

"More concealer?"

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

The return of Miss Subways

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

"She's genetically modified, you know."

It finally happened, models so thin they only consist of few molecules.

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"The perfume is only £20, the antidote is £250!"

"One day, I'll have teeth like pearls...skin like silk...and a mind like a steel trap!"

Animal cosmetic testing

'What do you think? Edible nail polish.'