Bearish Investor Gifts

'What do you think - good time to buy?'

'It's like a bull market, only not as aggressive. It's more like a steer market.'

Stock market investment advice

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'We may not agree on the stock market, but we're both Chicago fans.'

Stock market books.

'My advice is: Hold on to your stock so you can look back at this and laugh.'

'Don't give me all that bull about a strong market - I said sell!'

Papa bear plays the stockmarket.

Markets Drama

In a stock brokers, the lift buttons for up and down have bulls and bears on them.

New York Stock Exchange: Feed the bears at your own risk.

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

They're rich but not in a glamorous way. They're Certificate of Deposit rich.

"I'm not goofing off. I'm letting my money work for me."

'Unfortunately, medical science hasn't come up with a cure for 'stock market jitters.'

"I'm sorry but here we have a strict policy about hiring anyone who's squirmish about investing"

'At last a sign the bear market may be over.'

'It's not a Ponzi scheme. It's a Ponzi FUND.'

"Hurry it up, Solomon Brothers are waiting for my decision"

"You're new around here."

"The free investment advice is buy low and sell high. We offer more detailed advice for a fee."

Truth in labeling: If it sounds too good to be true. . . investments, stocks, bonds & mutual funds - formally fly-by nite investments.

'Your first major investment decision?'

'Get rich quick schemes - $1,000,000 each.'

"September can be a bad month for buying stocks...other bad months for buying stocks can be October, November, December, January, February, March, April, May, June, July and August."

'I hope buying this house won't sink us.'

Thank you for not Wishing Me a Nice Day When the Market is Down

Investment Services. I have a tidy sum I'd like to turn into a great big mess.

"I have to do something when the stock market is up."

Reference and Economic Reference.

Circus. It's been fun working with these circus performers on their financial planning. Those clowns are serious savers! Yeah, they've cut expenses by carpooling. The highwire walker wants a portfolio with a mixture of stocks and bonds. Having balance is her highest priority! And the lion tamer is interested only in very safe investments --- He has zero tolerance for more risk in his life. Our last meeting today is with the trapeze artist. What is your net worth? Every penny it cost!

Going to Wall Street