Bean Bag Enthusiast Gifts

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

'The two-month gap in my resume? I was stuck in a bean bag chair.'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

Clown's Comedy Fart.

"No thanks, I brought my lunch."

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"I want to spill the beans, but I'm waiting till I have access to classified or sensitive beans."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

Where Jelly Beans Come From....

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

"Whole bean or ground relentlessly to dust?"

"Maybe selling the cow for a bag of beans was a bad deal, but my cholesterol has never been better!"

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

"I do a lot for charity but I don't like to talk about it. . ."

Can I get you another coffee?

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"...and Lord, we thank You for blessing Farmer Finkel with an abundant bean harvest...and thus our new pews."

Middle Distance Runners

'Are you sure sitting on a bean bag chair isn't considered getting a daily requirement of vegetables?'

1907: Thanks to his dog, Edward Fishkopp discovers the rocket drive.

Before the Salivating Dogs

"Our food supervisor used to be a military cook."

'The End Justifies The Beans.

"Ahhh, the sweet smell of success!"

"I ain't particular, but are you sure a '71 claret is the right choice for these here beans?"

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans.' 'Now you don't.'

'That's Jeb Lambert. He was actually the first one to say 'paper or plastic'. Before that everyone said 'plastic or paper'... I mean, can you imagine?'

'Is it safe to come out? Are the auditors gone?'

'Genetically modified baked beans...well they look and taste the same to me!'