Beachy Office Banter Pillows

'The pay's good and the fresh air is great but, man, talk about a hostile work environment!'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"I hear you may do a baby."

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

'Your advert didn't say anything about intelligence... it said you wanted a manager!'

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"Got your e-mail and the answer is yes, I can pass you the stapler."

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

'The boss is just a carrier - he doesn't get panic attacks, he just gives panic attacks!'

"Until we get more employees to join, we'll just have to roll with the paunches."

"Julie...would you cancel my 4 o'clock please...?"

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

' And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...'

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

"I hope your day is going bad."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'Have a great day, but not at my expense.'

'I want you guys to be aware that a dog-eat-dog environment works for me.'

'Seems like everyday is bring your work to work day.'

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

'If looks could sue, eh, Walt?'

"I'm leaving Friday and we are all going to the club after work. Will you come?"

"Here's a juicy bit of gossip for you!"

"I miss the old water cooler."