Office Banter Admirer Pillows

"Here's a juicy bit of gossip for you!"

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

'JB, TS is waiting to see you and GR has just arrived.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

'Your advert didn't say anything about intelligence... it said you wanted a manager!'

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"He worked his way up from the mail room...from licking stamps to kissing butt."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

'It's easy for you to climb the corporate ladder, you just lay your eggs and leave: No need for Maternity Leave!'

"Got your e-mail and the answer is yes, I can pass you the stapler."

"We're restructuring - Wednesday moves to Friday, Tuesday becomes Wednesday, Monday stays where it is and Thursday and Friday will be merged with the weekend."

Pig and chicken asking for milk from cow, who replies: 'Sorry, I already gave at the office.'

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

"Julie...would you cancel my 4 o'clock please...?"

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

"I think it's time I told you my little secret, Miss Bigelow!"

"Until we get more employees to join, we'll just have to roll with the paunches."

'The boss is just a carrier - he doesn't get panic attacks, he just gives panic attacks!'

Ordnance: 'explode...implode'.

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

' And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...'