Beachgoers With A Twist Gifts

Tycoon on beach listens to "office sounds" on CD player

'It's just that when I said 'I wish I was a babe magnet'...'

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

Call Your Office

"...it's another metal detector."

"I'm sorry, sir, but Dostoyevsky is not considered summer reading. I'll have to ask you to come with me."

"We're a great team, Sash—you with your small and large motor skills, me with my spatial awareness and hand-eye coördination."

'A bucket and pail would have been enough.'

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

'It says...desperately seeking someone to explain the difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act...'

'Who are you trying to fool, that's a beach towel.'

'Now that's a sexy looking bathing suit!'

"If I had known I was going to evolve, I would have worked on my beach bod."

1930's bather.

Try and ride Brexit the donkey

'I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked.'

"Was that a wave or did they just flip us off?"

'Oh stop complaining, if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!'

How melanoma researchers take family summer vacations.

Shrink's Summer Job

'I thought you said inflatables were allowed on the beach.'

"Ey, Salvador, why you no make sandcastles like other kids?"

"Save the thong. I'd like to floss afterwards."

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

'Umm...guys, this isn't tanning spray.'

'Is this the way to the beach?'

The Paunch & Judy Show

"Dad fell asleep while working on his computer, so I buried him in sand. Not because it was fun, but because I wanted to use his computer."

"If it's not safe to go in the water and it's not safe to go in the sun, why did you bring me here?"

"We're saved! We're saved!"

"Yo, dude, like I always thought cats were afraid of the water!"