Beachfront Snobs Gifts

Mobsters at the Beach

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

Tycoon on beach listens to "office sounds" on CD player

'Typical male: Too proud to ask for directions or take advice! Look at us now!'

'Tap water?! As if.'

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

'There's nothing to beat a real seaside holiday is there?'

'We spent two weeks in Hawaii, but Fred didn't get any further than the airport bar.'

Crab reads 'The Little Book of Clams.'

'It's just that when I said 'I wish I was a babe magnet'...'

'A working vacation, your honor?'

'She's always got to go one better.' (Two catty ladies knitting, talking about the other lady at a loom).

"It might have been smart to inquire about the tides before buying this seaside place"

Sure, she could talk the talk, but couldn't walk the walk, shock the jock, lock the dock or even hawk a little sunblock.

Southwest Hampton

On A Polluted Beach

Coast to coast walk.

'I wanted a burial service, he wanted cremation, so I decided to compromise and have him clambaked.'

Peeled beach

"It looks as though it's inhabited."

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

"I've heard of a 'camel toe' but that is ridiculous."

Bathing Women

"Do you want to go caroling?"

(Death takes a working Holiday)

'How was I meant to know it was only for men?'