Beach Bum Wannabes Gifts

'We spent two weeks in Hawaii, but Fred didn't get any further than the airport bar.'

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Desert Island Meals.

Beach con-man.

Bad fake tan day.

'Thank-you God.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Bring your own inflatable.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

Hiding the electronics.

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

Iliadette.

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

'It must be the dead sea.'

Surfing koala.

'I keep very close touch with the office in case things are running too smoothly without me.'

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

"How about if we just winter in hell?"