Beach Bum Aficionado Gifts

"Dan, you forgot to put on your out-of-office."

'I give it six months max!'

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Beach con-man.

Desert Island Meals.

'Thank-you God.'

Bad fake tan day.

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Bring your own inflatable.

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

Hiding the electronics.

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

Iliadette.

Surfing koala.

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'

'I blame global warming!'

'It must be the dead sea.'

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."