Beachfront Jokester Gifts

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

Brighton Bersagliere.

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'I think its being tapped.'

"Don't bother going that way: They've installed shark nets..."

Mankini - One size fits all.

'Whadoya mean, WHOOPS?! That stuff doesn't grow on trees you know!'

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

"A catfish ate my homework."

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

I don't care if you hate that word – I'm hangry.

"Not exactly a snowman!"

"Don't pull the draw string too tight - you'll choke yourself out."

Why do men wear long short pants?

Bomb's Away

Tsunami Selfie

'Sorry, ocean sounds can't be heard due to a computer glitch.'

'That's no oil slick Johnson.' - During whale flu season.

'I am wearing my bikini!'

'Old fart and the sea'

I've never seen octopi in a school. They were all expelled for making armpit noises!

"All you cockroaches, …. When he tries to listen to the ocean, … run as fast as you can into his ear."

"Okay, on the count of three...you go that way, I'll go this way."

How to fool a seagull

'No, I'm not strictly catch-and-release.'

'I wanted a burial service, he wanted cremation, so I decided to compromise and have him clambaked.'

Acme Discount Life Vests

'Don't kid yourself. If you're too ugly to be cooked, they'll grind you up into one of those fish protein concentrates.'

"Somehow I feel very secure in this blanket of plankton!"

"I used to have a cigarette after spawning, but I could never keep them lit."

'Last week he gave me artificial recreation.'

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."

Don't worry, I'll use my standard excuse: "Sorry I'm late Darling, but I was beached for two hours"...

Guide to Edged Blade Fish