Beachfront Jokester Gifts

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

Brighton Bersagliere.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"Don't bother going that way: They've installed shark nets..."

Mankini - One size fits all.

'I think its being tapped.'

'Whadoya mean, WHOOPS?! That stuff doesn't grow on trees you know!'

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

"A catfish ate my homework."

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

"Not exactly a snowman!"

Why do men wear long short pants?

Bomb's Away

'I am wearing my bikini!'

"All you cockroaches, …. When he tries to listen to the ocean, … run as fast as you can into his ear."

Tsunami Selfie

'Sorry, ocean sounds can't be heard due to a computer glitch.'

'That's no oil slick Johnson.' - During whale flu season.

'Old fart and the sea'

"Okay, on the count of three...you go that way, I'll go this way."

'No, I'm not strictly catch-and-release.'

How to fool a seagull

'I wanted a burial service, he wanted cremation, so I decided to compromise and have him clambaked.'

Acme Discount Life Vests

'Don't kid yourself. If you're too ugly to be cooked, they'll grind you up into one of those fish protein concentrates.'

EU: Legal Labelling Requirements for Meat!

'POSTED! TOPLESS BATHERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT!'

Don't worry, I'll use my standard excuse: "Sorry I'm late Darling, but I was beached for two hours"...

'Last week he gave me artificial recreation.'

Guide to Edged Blade Fish

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."