Beach Warriors Gifts

"Going to the beach with kids Sand in eyes, food, crevices Chasing after them with sun cream Frantically checking they haven't been kidnapped or swept out to sea Enjoying it"

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

"It's true: no more burpees."

"If you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean..."

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

Zumbie: Zumba for zombies.

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"Can I still do my pilates?"

Men playing water football in barrels on a lake

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

Advanced aerobicizers wait till after class to aid the fallen.

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

An office worker daydreams about a new poster.

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

'Why can't you collect shells like the other kids?'

There's a popular new health spa down there. The endorphins are having a blast in aerobics. Antibodies are learning kickboxing and the adrenaline is getting some much needed relaxation in the yoga studio. The only problem is the water molecules. Everybody is concerned about them! What's wrong? They haven't been seen since they went into the sauna!

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

"I'm addicted to water."

'Keep fit.'

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

"This is Josh, our summer intern."

"Ah, the ecstasy of moving all the right muscle groups."

When the water's colder than you thought...

'Just how long have you been a mountain guide?'

'...And you wanted to hibernate when we could be playing beach volleyball!'

'That's our group plan.'

'C'Mon ladies, work that bovine!'

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

"That's not the motivational reward I had in mind."

Muscular Santa

'Sorry, kids, I forgot we live in Michigan.'

Aerobics Class. Trainer. What is your body telling you? We're not on speaking terms right now.

Pesos!

William would often take long walks along the beach, seeking inspiration for his next timesheet.

"Smacked down by reality in 24 seconds."