Workout Warriors Gifts

"Whatever."

"That's not the motivational reward I had in mind."

"I can feel the effects of these workouts already - my wallet's gotten a lot lighter."

"I'm starting to see some real definition in my abs."

Advanced aerobicizers wait till after class to aid the fallen.

'That's our group plan.'

Muscular Santa

'How do you like the new aerobics instructor?'

'Our basic membership is $470. And for an extra $50 our staff will refrain from pointing and snickering at you in your workout clothes.'

"To maximize your wellness, we're going to work out for two hours every day!"

Don't Forget Your 3PM Dance Break

"The trick is to bite them just after they've been to the gym: You get good, well oxygenated blood..."

"Smacked down by reality in 24 seconds."

"Can I still do my pilates?"

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

"I workout so I don't have to eat kale."

"It's true: no more burpees."

'C'Mon ladies, work that bovine!'

Elevator is now equipped with stairclimber exercise machine.

'Keep fit.'

Help! Need a personal trainer to get in shape for the rat race.

Zumbie: Zumba for zombies.

"That stabbing pain in your abs -- that's your body telling you it'd rather be on the beach."

To slim down, you need to feel the burn! They have a "scorched girth" policy here.

Aerobics Class. Trainer. What is your body telling you? We're not on speaking terms right now.

There's a popular new health spa down there. The endorphins are having a blast in aerobics. Antibodies are learning kickboxing and the adrenaline is getting some much needed relaxation in the yoga studio. The only problem is the water molecules. Everybody is concerned about them! What's wrong? They haven't been seen since they went into the sauna!

"Can we skip this one?"

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'