Workout Warrior Gifts

"Exercise is the best medicine. Jump."

"Gruelling as this is, it's not a total-body workout."

'I don't do much traditional exercise. But I make sure to get my heart rate up by freaking out at the office on a regular basis.'

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

' Don't you think your taking this exercise wheel a bittoo seriously?'

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

'Come on you fat sweaty useless ugly slob!!...Get those flabby white legs moving!!'

The Seven Second Workout

Motivation to Keep Fit.

Rowing machine attached to a desk.

'Let's try a slower speed.'

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

'Are we having fun yet?'

'What, you afraid of a little exercise?'

"Hop up into the jolly jumper and let's see what you're made of"

"I haven't burned this many calories since I forgot the brownies in the oven."

Aerobics Class.

"Remember when these were all yoga centers?"

"I can defend this hill for another hour, but then I really need to get to the gym."

Battery lifting weights

"Can't talk now. Cramming for tomorrow's stress test."

Advanced aerobicizers wait till after class to aid the fallen.

'So far, I've lost 90 dollars.'

"Now on the count of three, each of you will turn, aim, and fire, all the while keeping your core engaged.

'Which program would you like - the use it or lose it, or use it to lose it?'

'If I collapse there's a cherry danish in my lunchbox.'

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

Impersonal Trainer.

Running machine with pothole.

'When did you start working out?'

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

Gondola Exercise

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

To warm up touch your toes twenty times. No way! My cap will fall off!