Beach Body Warriors Gifts

'Will that be the diet special?'

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

"It's true: no more burpees."

Bench Press Accident

"If you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean..."

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"Can I still do my pilates?"

Zumbie: Zumba for zombies.

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

Advanced aerobicizers wait till after class to aid the fallen.

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

Sand Snowmen

There's a popular new health spa down there. The endorphins are having a blast in aerobics. Antibodies are learning kickboxing and the adrenaline is getting some much needed relaxation in the yoga studio. The only problem is the water molecules. Everybody is concerned about them! What's wrong? They haven't been seen since they went into the sauna!

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

Me when by BDD shows up

'Keep fit.'

"Going to the beach with kids Sand in eyes, food, crevices Chasing after them with sun cream Frantically checking they haven't been kidnapped or swept out to sea Enjoying it"

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

'That's our group plan.'

'...And you wanted to hibernate when we could be playing beach volleyball!'

'C'Mon ladies, work that bovine!'

"That's not the motivational reward I had in mind."

Muscular Santa

Austrailian Vollyroo

'We were introduced by a scientist friend of ours, then discovered we both like getting caught in electrical storms and taking long walks on the beach to scare people."

Rooster practices for sunrise

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

Aerobics Class. Trainer. What is your body telling you? We're not on speaking terms right now.

"Smacked down by reality in 24 seconds."

Elevator is now equipped with stairclimber exercise machine.

"I suppose you’re wondering why I summoned you, minion." "Not really, boss." "I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: bikinis are getting smaller and smaller, so small, in fact, that they no longer hide anything." "I think it’s about time our cafe took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay." "That’s why I’ve arranged for you to hand ‘campaign donations’ to several city councilmembers." "This doesn’t have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it?" "People should never have t

"Whatever."