Beach Loather Gifts

"I should have known - I hate the beach."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

There is no hurricane season in Aruba...

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

Separation Anxiety

"Gucci Firenze 1921"

"I'll bet a lot of people wish they had a royal palace to return to."

"Delivery."

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

'Ask me about my portfolio.'

"This is Josh, our summer intern."

'I've still got the fire in my belly, but for the next two weeks I'm solar powered.'

"Honey, you're not working on your computer? You're taking this vacation thing a little too far, aren't you?"

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

"We just want a vacation --- we don't want to learn anything."

Bathing woman wearing a hat

"I'd invite you back to the house for a glass of iced tea, but I'm afraid our kitchen isn't kosher."

Sasquatch/Summersquatch

And as the sun sets over the hills...

Thong World.

Washing Instructions: Have Your Mom Do It.

"It was a dark and stormy night...."

Beach Vacation

Spiked Ball

"Any idiot can take the rat out of the race. The trick is getting the race out of the rat!"

"All you cockroaches, …. When he tries to listen to the ocean, … run as fast as you can into his ear."

'Have you stopped striving yet?'

"If that book is gonna deposit hundreds of grains of sand in our bed later tonight, it better be damn juicy."

"Behind every great man is an equally great woman starved for affection."

'All day and not one wave...can life possibly get any worse?'

Dreaming of Summer

'Remember, honey, we're in Mexico, not Europe.'

"I hate having to wash my smalls."