Beach Holiday Fan Gifts

"Gilbert! Here's Mamma!"

"Anything but milk and cookies."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Easter Candy Island.

'All the crabs you can eat, $1.00. But first you have to catch them.'

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

'I don't know about you, but I sure could use a vacation.'

'Another artisanal B&B.'

"If you can't see the sea I can recommend an optician in the High Street."

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

'LOL!'

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

"This is not what I meant when I said you should try to live in the present."

Santa, please take a photo of yourself with our presents so I can post it on my Facebook. Thanks! XOXO

'Are you the guy who ate my brother?'

Rudolph the reindeer with a huge red nose.

Christmas Star

Are you a good little girl or boy If not, REPENT today: 'November and December,,,I'm Santa at Macys,'

Why are direction signs always so bad?

Colossus of Rhode Island

"Holiday decorating - done."

'where do you plug it in?'

'She's dead alright. The question is: did she jump, or was she pushed?'

'All this pirate radio station plays is Ho, Ho, Ho and a Bottle of Rum.'

"So,as the advert says, we are looking for someone large with a lot of presence."

Santa crawling out of log burning stove.

"I thought you only came once a year."

"You've broken half me solar panels, ya t***a!"

Christmas Lights

'Well your face fits through the hole O.K. and the rest is actually an improvement!'

'I've got very fair skin. . . I don't tan, I fry.'

"Oh, put that blasted cell phone away."

Happy Xmas

'Congratulations! I'm giving you the sack!'

"Santa has his sleigh. I have to hippity-hop to my deliveries!"