Beach Body Linguist Gifts

"I hate it when they dress you with their eyes."

Bench Press Accident

"I'm fascinated by body language."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

Wonders of evolution: Same face, totally different meaning.

Sand Snowmen

"I can hear the sea boiling."

'When you approach a customer, don't have your hands in your pockets.'

"It's all the rage at court but I doubt it will catch on. He calls it power posing. . .!"

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

Non-verbal Management Skills.

When mimes make an appointment...

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

Messrs Wink, Nod and Nudge write book on unspoken communication.

Title Page for 'Mrs Grundy'

'At the moment, I'm in the overseas division.'

Body Language - Hiss!

"I suppose you’re wondering why I summoned you, minion." "Not really, boss." "I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: bikinis are getting smaller and smaller, so small, in fact, that they no longer hide anything." "I think it’s about time our cafe took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay." "That’s why I’ve arranged for you to hand ‘campaign donations’ to several city councilmembers." "This doesn’t have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it?" "People should never have t

Luckily for Sarah, her training had included a unit on detecting signs of negative body language.

'You know, sometimes I think we don't even speak the same body language.'

I knew a guy who was born with a sidelong glance. . .

'It's a variation of the South Beach diet -- we bury you in the sand till you lose fifty pounds.'

Lifeguard... Lifetime funds manager

"My back says 'low pressure', my joints say 'cold' and my old UFC injury says 'snow'. Back to you, Katie."

Body language: the double negative

'There's nothing to beat a real seaside holiday is there?'

'Oh-oh -- we should have brought sunscreen!'

"Trevor's nose is running."

Slim-quik liquid diet box floats up to man stranded on a desert island.

"Today's alpha-lesson is 'become a vapor.' Wherever you are, be it a broom closet or a baseball stadium, carry yourself as if your body fills the entire room. Greet people with your arms out wide. Have a wide stance. A booming laugh. A wide open smile. Becoming a vapor is the best and most legal way to mark your territory."

Punch has a smoking break.

"He said absolutely, positively, read my lips - NO! Unless I'm reading him wrong, I'd say he's definitely warming up to the idea."

Silent Body Language