Battlefield Banter Gifts

"It's the wife - I can't even fight a war in bloody peace!"

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

Your Country Needs MOO!

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

Little Known Historical Fact: After regaining consciousness at the last minute, Davey Crockett's coonskin cap went on to become the Alamo's only survivor.

"What do you think the delivery time is on a drone pizza?"

'... Now this releases me from any liability. And this form ...' 'Fred's legal experiences in civilian life interfered with his work in a war zone.'

'I must warn you, I'm an army boxer.'

Military Intelligence - Cross word puzzle instead of medal ribbons.

"...and this one is from my wife because I used two squirts of washing up liquid instead of three."

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

'Down to 43 hit points? ?have you been fighting again?'

Chess Trainer

"I want to apologize for some of the remarks I made during the heat of battle."

"Well, if you know of a better military re-enactment club, go to it."

"Daddy doesn't hate the Yankees. Daddy has issues with the Yankees."

Natural bomb

Two Men In A Tank.

'Watkins you remember I said be prepared for the unexpected.'

'Gimme the remote. I think you got it on slo-mo.'

"This is what happens when you have only one kevlar vest for the troops."

A Series of Misadventures.

'Soldier, we don't discuss Murphy's Law and the War on Terror in the same breath around here!'

"How long has it BEEN upside down?"

"It doesn't get any better than this."

'Try not to dip your shoulder and keep your head in there. Remember, all the great ones go through slumps.'

"First let me give you my conspectus."

"We can deal with terrorists and other enemies. The ones who can really kill us are the politicians at home."