Battlefield Storyteller Gifts

Little Known Historical Fact: After regaining consciousness at the last minute, Davey Crockett's coonskin cap went on to become the Alamo's only survivor.

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

Support Group for a Good Problem

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A vampire in a canoe.

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

Warrior Woman

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"... and the sales call was coming from inside the house!"

Camping.

'One of the first rules, kids, be sure to watch where you step.'

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

Scouts made this for me

'Relax, the largest thing around here that can harm you is an ant.'

"And every year on this very day...he creeps into camp and steals everyones electronics."

Camping with Mr. Thorough

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"Oh Wow! Shooting star!"

Sunny with a chance of Helium

"See, dear, it's only an owl hooting...."

'This is not fair, mom. . . none of my friends is forced to hibernate before December.'

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'