Bathroom Practicality Proponent Gifts

'I imagine you're pretty eager for them to finish the building addition, huh?'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'I know it's a bit unusual, but that's where he gets all the best ideas.'

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

"Hydro density appartus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

The Tragedy of Prosperity

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

Plumbing Cartoon 7437: Invention of an Automatic Toilet Flusher A) A plumbing Engineer left a stall, toilet paper stuck to his shoe, B) turning the roll, C) releasing a catapult, D) shooting a ball to a loop-de-loop. E) When the ball hit the plumbing engi

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

"Occupied" - Man urinating in space

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

"Looks like Billy clogged up the toilet again."

Vanity artist

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

Everyone has a good novel inside them.

Man looking at his shower-bath on a cold morning

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

Wash hand before making sound of one hand clapping.

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Knight using the men's bathroom.

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

Paper Bath Towels.

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

(No caption. Astronaut on the the moon looks at an outhouse with a picture of the Earth where the crescent moon would be.)

If toilets could talk

Bug Bungy Jumping.

'Ecce homo!'

"We could add a wobbly seat and lid that the idiots, er, customers would think they have to replace - at a premium, of course."