Bathroom Visionary Gifts

'And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!'

"We could add a wobbly seat and lid that the idiots, er, customers would think they have to replace - at a premium, of course."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

'Handyman's Special'

Doulton Canada Geese

"You like it? We purchased the fourth wall from 'Westworld'."

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

WC problem.

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

Man looking at his shower-bath on a cold morning

'Ever since we bought thet blasted water bed we've been drifting apart!'

'... and I'd like a Holodeck right off the living room.'

"I don't need to get out of bed, ma - I programmed an app to live my life for me."

Knight using the men's bathroom.

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

Paper Bath Towels.

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

'Why can't you be like other men and just sing in the bath?'

'You don't hear the bath water running because I'm taking a sponge bath, mom.'

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

Which one of these things is the soap?

"The bathroom was recently remodeled with more options."

A man has wind turbines in his bath

"Morning Gorgeous!"

I realized I do my best thinking in the shower.

"If you want a skylight, it's a skylight."

"Travel the dark corridor over shoe mountain. Avoid the couch ogre lest he steal your soul. The third door is the bathroom you seek."

'How can you claim we lead the good life when we don't even have a brass toilet paper dispenser?'

Og invents the port-a-potty.

Future Homes

"No more getting up and having to go to the kitchen for a midnight snack."