Basketball Spectator Gifts

'Wait -- look! All this time we've been fooled by a blue-screen background and wires!'

"Good game."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"I AM at my usual position."

"How should we divide the teams?"

The Salmon Run

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!

'I don't mind players entering the NBA at an early age. It's the diaper changes that I hate.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Why moms make bad refs.

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

I love Basketball.

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Basketball.

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

Puppy.

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

'Hold on, Pepe!... The score is tied with less than a minute to go - and the losing team gets boiled.'

'This is it, gentlemen. The big game. A date with dentistry.'

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

Kobe Bryant

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'