Basement Philosopher Gifts

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

"So that's where you were last night."

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

"Hydro density appartus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

Shakespeare in the clink

The Boys of Indian Summer

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

Vanity artist

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

'Wow, that sounds rigorous. What are the prerequisites for living in my mom's basement?'

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

Everyone has a good novel inside them.

Shocked bather sees space-time singularity forming in bathtub drain.

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

Writer's irony.

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

Nature is not perfect

'Ecce homo!'

Cat asleep on man's stomach - an island in the bath.

That's not quite what I meant by a 'balanced diet'..