Baseball Players Gifts

"The perp walks are killing us."

"As expected... the call goes in for Scissors."

Baseball's New On-Field Drug Counseling

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

'Rule #5, all players will be issued a cup to spit in.'

Baseball promotions that bombed.

'...Baseball bats, gentlemen, are sacred objects. We do not dress them up in doll clothing.'

Palmeiro Steroids - US

'Who's on drugs?'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Church for sports worshipers.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

High-gravity baseball

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"I AM at my usual position."

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

350 Feet.

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.