Baseball Buffs Pillows

Inside Baseballs

"Okay, Max, your dad is the commissioner, you're at first base. Harry, your parents donated 5 grand to fix the snack bar, you're at shortstop. . ."

'We had no choice, ump. Their pitcher threw a brushback, and so we retaliated with a burshback...'

"Quick God, give me the gift of the gab."

Bismark Ballet School

'Uh-oh. They're bringing in the closer to secure the win.'

'Rule #5, all players will be issued a cup to spit in.'

'He has a kind of neat mantra - 'no hits, no runs, no errors.''

Another brazen raid by People for the Ethical Treatment of Athletes.

"Baseball's not a jug's game, you really need to be a pitcher"

'What? that ball was nowhere near...'

The Boys of Roids

Golfing Boss

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Church for sports worshipers.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"I AM at my usual position."

High-gravity baseball

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"