Barn Conversion Enthusiast Gifts

'It's got all the original features.'

"I converted the barn."

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Cow Show Tunes

"Ever eat a bird?"

A Cow Striptease

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

"Hey, you two, get a barn!"

Warning: Not giving milk is hazardous to your health.

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

'You can stop worrying about your husband Mrs.Dellrow...He's going to be fine,now that we have him in a stable condition.'

"You know, I think the novelty of living in a converted Barn is starting to wear off."

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

Je-Hereford's Witnesses

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

When Cows Discovered Mowers

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

Looks like you put too much dosie in that doe, Earl.

'When we converted the pub into a house, we decided to keep some of the original features.'

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

"Oh, I was looking for something with a little more hay."

Cow being clamped for milk.

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

Psst! Stay in character!

'Mirror, mirror, on the silo, who's the studliest bull in Shiloh?'

Oh you baad bad girl!

'I'd like to speak to the slop steward.'

Rooster writes out 'Things to cock-a-doodle-do.'