Barbershop Visits T-Shirts

Cut Throat Price

"Not too much off the top, Floyd!"

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

What price beauty?

Drunk Barber

"...and yes, you did take too much off the top!"

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

Giraffe Haircut

"So what's your success rate?"

'Sorry ... I'm having a 'bad hair' day.'

Down at the Local Baa-Baa Shop

God's Manicure.

'There...now you'll fit in with the other plucked turkeys, er, footballers.'

"I'm just going to te hairdressers. They've got some new gossip in."

The crew of the pirate ship 'The Bearded Lady' celebrate their greatest booty haul ever.

Taken By Surprise

"Can you loosen it a bit Andre, I can't close my eyes"

A Feud between Al and Tony leaves Mr. Coyle with a prosthetic ear.

The usual? My daughter's all over me about dyeing my hair. I want to go totally natural! Fine. Which would you like? Natural ash, honest honey or real platinum blonde? Which does Mother Nature use?

"Shall I give your eyebrows a little touch up, Miss?"

50 Shades of Brown: Tanning Salon

Queen with a crown-shaped hairdryer.

"I'll be glad when I get rid of this handover!"

Have a drink with me tonight. I can't I'm married. Tell your husband you're working. Tell him yourself, he's shaving you.

'You wouldn't be so quiet either if you had to sit on this board!'

"I asked for razzle-dazzle – not frizzle-frazzle."

"Could you trim the sides but leave it feathered on top?"

Man looking in mirror at the barber's.

Boris Johnson.

'You want a shampoo?... Great! My hands could do with a good wash.'

'Well! I asked for a Brazilian.'