Salon Visits T-Shirts

"He was in here yesterday. Halfway through he ran out without paying."

'Fake tan? Not me!'

'You made me too beautiful!'

"I asked for razzle-dazzle – not frizzle-frazzle."

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

"Wait, I've changed my mind."

"It's absolutely fabulous hair, it just needs a bit more care and attention... SANDRA CAN YOU PASS ME THE HEDGE TRIMMERS PLEASE!"

"Shall I give your eyebrows a little touch up, Miss?"

"So what's your success rate?"

"I'm just going to te hairdressers. They've got some new gossip in."

"Remember girls - these are evil and must be punished!!"

50 Shades of Brown: Tanning Salon

What price beauty?

God's Manicure.

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

Queen with a crown-shaped hairdryer.

'Well! I asked for a Brazilian.'

Melting under a hairdryer.

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Pampered and poodled.

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

Mistaken identity.

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

Odd Spas

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

GURLERS

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

'You don't have to worry about me, I just want to know who does your nails.'