Bar Trivia Buff Gifts

"I can't serve you - you're under 18..."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

Complementary Beverages

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

You have had enough

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

"Is that neat whisky?"

Inappropriate horse whispering.

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

'The difference between Micro and Macro economics is this: Macro is what you owe, and Micro is what you're paid.'

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

'Say! You're new here aren't you?'

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

"I'm not whining."

'I saw the world in shades of gray once. Boy, did THAT dull my edge!'

I work for a nonprofit organization. Me, too. I appear in a comic strip.

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

"Careful, Blanch. I think he's up to something."