Bar Trivia Buff Pillows

"I can't serve you - you're under 18..."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

Complementary Beverages

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

You have had enough

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

Inappropriate horse whispering.

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

"Is that neat whisky?"

'The difference between Micro and Macro economics is this: Macro is what you owe, and Micro is what you're paid.'

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

'Say! You're new here aren't you?'

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."

"I'm not whining."

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

'I saw the world in shades of gray once. Boy, did THAT dull my edge!'