Bar Fly Extraordinaire Gifts

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"An everything Martini, please."

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

'I'm not drinking with you anymore after what you did to me this morning. . .'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'Fried chickens.'

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"Catnip for everyone."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

Quiz Night...

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'