Bar Culture Gifts

"Bottoms up."

'I said 'no' to drugs...But they wouldn't take no for an answer!'

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

'Take it outside!'

Hippy Hour: 'Sorry,mate-dyslexic signwriter!'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"I used to think I was content, but then I realized I was just an underachiever."

'You know, it's very rude not to look somebody in the eye when you talk to them. What are you looking at anyway?'

"Music piracy is okay, but I do miss he swashbuckling."

The Old Dun Cow - Bitter & twisted.

"Anyone here a 'worthless, no-good drunken bum'?"

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"You want to take this outside?"

"Bring me a tit, and make it snappy."

"'Ere -what's YOUR problem...?"

Pina Coladas

"Cut me off when I start to sway."

"This could get nasty..."

sign says'Headaches only $5', 'I was actually after more of a hangover..'

'I will fight to the death your right to say that, but not in this place!'

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

The Ventriloquist's Arms

'I'm a 'son-of-a-bitch' on my Mother's side.'

'This is a POLITICS bar, gentlemen - I'll have to ask you not to discuss RELIGION.'

'If that's my wife, Joe, I'm not here.'

Wake up Mr Jenkins...Time for work!

'I didn't say, 'Drinks are on the house', I said, 'Drinks are on the horse!''

'Sometimes I see problems and solutions with such clarity, I feel I've been infused with all the wisdom of the ages... THAT'S when I know I've had too much to drink.'

'Strange, how women always have to go to the ladies' room in pears.'

'Make it a double and make it neat: I'm trying to cut back on flouride.'

"What'll it be - up or on the rocks?"

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

Man with martini eyeball.

Angus knew he was in trouble the moment he called her 'lassie'.

'My beer's not cloudy. The glasses are dirty.'