Banter Baristas Gifts

'I attract two types of guys: too forward or too backward.'

Selling lemon latt�

Annual run-off at the mouth.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'I like you, you've got balls.'

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Drunk Barber

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"It's Olive isn't it?"

"Sipsies?"

"Not too much off my back."

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

A breakthrough moment for the Wright brothers. How about some wings with that?

"So,... Can I call you?"

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

'Yeah, but did you hear the crowd roar when I hooked the cape out of your hands?'

CartoonStock Upload"You are an all-round good guy!"

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

'Here's the secret to a profitable 99-cent pint night - 14 ounces of foam, 2 ounces of beer.'

'Advertising: Don't get me started! I mean what's Phil Collins in a Gorilla suit, got to do with chocolate?'

BEER BELLY

'What I've just has my teeth whitened,'

'Hey carrot-breath! You still mad cause we ran you a little today? Hounds gotta make a living too, ya know.'