Banter Baristas Pillows

'I attract two types of guys: too forward or too backward.'

Selling lemon latt�

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'I like you, you've got balls.'

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Drunk Barber

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"Not too much off my back."

"It's Olive isn't it?"

"Sipsies?"

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

"So,... Can I call you?"

'Yeah, but did you hear the crowd roar when I hooked the cape out of your hands?'

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

CartoonStock Upload"You are an all-round good guy!"

BEER BELLY

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

'Here's the secret to a profitable 99-cent pint night - 14 ounces of foam, 2 ounces of beer.'

'What I've just has my teeth whitened,'

'Hey carrot-breath! You still mad cause we ran you a little today? Hounds gotta make a living too, ya know.'

'Costwise, are we thinking Kavanagh QL or Rumpole?'