Bartender Banter Pillows

Nice try, but you can't blame your empty highball glass on global warming.

James Bond in a Snow Globe

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Yoga for Alcoholics

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Now I really hate poetry."

'No ice.'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Join me in a Martini?

We'll have Manhattans...

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

Happy Hour

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

Shaken not stirred