Barista Humor Appreciator Gifts

I'd like the double mocha caramel eggnog latte with nutmeg and holiday sprinkles

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"What other tricks does he need?"

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

'These drinks have been watered down.'

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

Could you be a little bit more specific than an 'arm and a leg'?

Damaged goods & lawyer's torts 50 off.

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"Management think staff need to use their initiative more, and they forwarded a 65 page memo on how they want you to do it."

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

'That's right. Ploughman's lunch; Egg, beans and sausage. It's what he orders every time he comes in here.'

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

'I'd like a brandy please...'

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

He's going to help us with our late payers' problem.

"As this is our first date, perhaps I should tell you that I participate in several frequent liar programmes."

People talking through a stethoscope.

'Two pints of blonde please.'

"I should give myself up... I'm a bad habit!"

All I'm sayin is let he who has not driven naked and stoned cast the first stone...