Banking Jokesters Pillows

'We can lend you the money for a new house. But how will you repay it?'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Let's vote. All those in favour of flying to Switzerland, withdrawing our secret bank account and splitting?"

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

'I thought up the term 'too big to fail'. So where's my bonus?'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'You call it a beer belly, I prefer to think of it as a lump sum settlement of liquid assets.'

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"Tag! Your salary's frozen."

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'I just asked to see the annual figures...'

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"

"I'm afraid we don't offer student loans to elementary school pupils."

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

Some cultures use fish as money. 'Got change for a halibut?' 'Sure! Minnows OK?

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'My latest invention...the credit rock!'

'Oog decided to become a predatory LENDER.'

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'