Banking Blunder Gifts

Harry picked a bad time to get laryngitis.

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'This Libor rate scandal gives new meaning to the term 'Fixed'-rate mortgage.'

'Miss Roberts, turn off the video camera!'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'George has us well diversified. We own every stock in the Misfortune 500.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'I need another raise so I can pay for the car that I bought to celebrate my last raise.'

Forgot My Mother's Maiden Name.

'Today stocks tumbled on the rumor that there is no Santa Claus.'

"...and who might you ask was responsible for this mistake?"

'I put money in the stock market and now I don't have any to put in the supermarket.'

"I paid twelve quid for this and it only mentions nine!"

Benefit mistakes cost £one billion a year... Well, in our defence we did get a lot of the numbers correct, they just weren't in the right order.

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

'The only investment I'd suggest is that you rent a van, then put your office equipment in and take it to the pawn shop.'

'I said... oh, forget it!'

Bank manager standing in front of safe has combination written on his hand

"Hi everyone, and welcome to this TED talk on how not to run a business. . ."

"Yes, we do make car loans, but you CAN'T borrow my car."

'What do you want the money for?'

'Ok, you want 40 dollars. That's two 10s and six 5s - no, it's three 10s and nine... wait that's not right. Rats! I never was any good at math!'

Cash Point - Pin Number?

'Tax returns prepared - honest mistakes our speciality.'