Banking Banter Pillows

'£5000 overdrawn. . . Only kidding, but I did cure your hiccups.'

'Need some money for a facelift, I presume?'

"Are you sure you've got sufficient funds in your account to cover this cheque?"

'You want HOW much?'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"The Gross National Product and the Gross Domestic Product are doing okay. It's the Gross Domestic Mojo that's going down the toilet."

'I said I wanted to address the manager shortage -- not a short manager!'

You said you wanted to speak to the chairman of Zapco Steel - I've just realised that's me.

Manager - I don't just manage, I excel!

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

"I love this work-from-home concept. Now I can fire someone without going to the office."

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I don't know about you, but I could do with a break.'

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

Secret Identity Theft.

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

Harvest Data Festival

Mixing Business and Pleasure

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"