Humor In Banking Pillows

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

Harvest Data Festival

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

'We've discovered the Cave of Missing Accounting Ledgers.'

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

Squirrel Pyramid Scheme

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

PANIC!

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

"Hands up!"

'It's the bank's Small Business Advisor to see you, dear.'