Banking Comedy Pillows

"Yes, we do make car loans, but you CAN'T borrow my car."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

'I thought up the term 'too big to fail'. So where's my bonus?'

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

Harvest Data Festival

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

'Your mom likes you ... well, heck, that's all we need.'

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

'Oog decided to become a predatory LENDER.'

PANIC!

'I want to open a joint account with the riches man in town. . .'

"Hands up!"

"The bank has completed the loan application review phase. We're now in the loan denial phase."

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'Oh no! They've turned my internet bank into a bar...'