Bank Banter Lover Pillows

'I need to borrow enough to get myself out of debt.'

'Whenever I want to be dominated, I visit my bank manager...'

I have a dream.

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

Harvest Data Festival

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

'I'm conducting my own stress test!'

'What's your not-quite-so prime rate?'

Bank loan applicant

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

'Well, you're the psychic. Why don't you tell me if I'm going to give you any money?'

"I should tell you this transaction is being recorded, and may appear on my blog."

Pied Piper luring money from the bank.

'Hi man, I'd like to open a joint account...'

'£5000 overdrawn. . . Only kidding, but I did cure your hiccups.'

'Need some money for a facelift, I presume?'

'What do you mean overdrawn, I still have 12 cheques left.'

"Since interest rates are low, I'd like to refinance my bankruptcy."

'You mean like a bailout?'

"If our bank had a negative interest rate we would be rich."

'But you're the 'Goose that Lays the Golden Egg...'

'It's true their security is better here but they don't have overdraft fees.'

'It's Mr Nutkin Sir, he'd like to withdraw the contents of his safety deposit box. Same as last year.'

'What do you mean overdraft? I still have 12 cheques left. '

A tiny man living inside an ATM gives away money.

"He wants to rent a safe deposit box for the winter."

'Now you've signed all your assets over to the bank, I'm happy to lend you your bus fare home.'