Bank Banter Enthusiast Pillows

"I should tell you this transaction is being recorded, and may appear on my blog."

FIRST NATIONAL BANK Is there any way I can mortgage a warranty?

'We charge an extra fee if your money is crinkled.'

Leaving Loan Department - "Your first mistake was calling Mr Lenhurst a Bloodsucker."

'What do you mean overdraft? I still have 12 cheques left. '

"Since when have customers been in control of their money?"

I have a dream.

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

Harvest Data Festival

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

'I'm conducting my own stress test!'

Bank loan applicant

'What's your not-quite-so prime rate?'

'Whenever I want to be dominated, I visit my bank manager...'

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

"Collateral? How about I teach you what ties to avoid?"

'I need to borrow enough to get myself out of debt.'

'Well, you're the psychic. Why don't you tell me if I'm going to give you any money?'

Pied Piper luring money from the bank.

'What do you mean overdrawn, I still have 12 cheques left.'

'Hi man, I'd like to open a joint account...'

'£5000 overdrawn. . . Only kidding, but I did cure your hiccups.'

'Need some money for a facelift, I presume?'