Banking Banter Lover Pillows

'There was a long tunnel with a bright light at the end beckoning me. It was wonderful. I've never felt so debt-free.'

'What do you mean overdrawn, I still have 12 cheques left.'

Before you start to complain about the Bank I have to warn you there's a $5 whinge fee.

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

Harvest Data Festival

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

Bank loan applicant

'What's your not-quite-so prime rate?'

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

"Collateral? How about I teach you what ties to avoid?"

'Whenever I want to be dominated, I visit my bank manager...'

'I need to borrow enough to get myself out of debt.'

'Well, you're the psychic. Why don't you tell me if I'm going to give you any money?'

"I should tell you this transaction is being recorded, and may appear on my blog."

'£5000 overdrawn. . . Only kidding, but I did cure your hiccups.'

'Need some money for a facelift, I presume?'

Pied Piper luring money from the bank.

'Hi man, I'd like to open a joint account...'

"He wants to rent a safe deposit box for the winter."

A tiny man living inside an ATM gives away money.

'You mean like a bailout?'

'What do you mean overdraft? I still have 12 cheques left. '

'It's true their security is better here but they don't have overdraft fees.'

'But you're the 'Goose that Lays the Golden Egg...'

"Since interest rates are low, I'd like to refinance my bankruptcy."

'Too late. The government beat you to it.'