Banking Banter Lover Gifts

'There was a long tunnel with a bright light at the end beckoning me. It was wonderful. I've never felt so debt-free.'

'What do you mean overdrawn, I still have 12 cheques left.'

Before you start to complain about the Bank I have to warn you there's a $5 whinge fee.

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

Harvest Data Festival

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

Bank loan applicant

'What's your not-quite-so prime rate?'

"Collateral? How about I teach you what ties to avoid?"

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

'Whenever I want to be dominated, I visit my bank manager...'

'I need to borrow enough to get myself out of debt.'

"I should tell you this transaction is being recorded, and may appear on my blog."

'Well, you're the psychic. Why don't you tell me if I'm going to give you any money?'

Pied Piper luring money from the bank.

'Hi man, I'd like to open a joint account...'

'£5000 overdrawn. . . Only kidding, but I did cure your hiccups.'

'Need some money for a facelift, I presume?'

"He wants to rent a safe deposit box for the winter."

'But you're the 'Goose that Lays the Golden Egg...'

'What do you mean overdraft? I still have 12 cheques left. '

'It's true their security is better here but they don't have overdraft fees.'

'You mean like a bailout?'

'Too late. The government beat you to it.'