Finance Banter Lover Gifts

"I'm bored of the recession, and I'm sure you are, too.' - 'That's why I've developed my patented 'Recessionator' (TM) device.' - 'Now repeat after me, 'The British economy is stronger than ever...'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Jumping Wall Street.

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

"At least we're consistent ... "

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

The Decline of the Euro.

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

In case of falling markets break glass.

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

Federal Guidelines

Ireland and its Celtic Tiger request some donations

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

Inflation is a national headache. . . caused by asset indigestion!

"We must do something about the bloated, fat cat image bankers have a acquired...I think I'll settle for a bigger chair!"

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

'Last night Warren Buffett came to me in a dream and whispered in my ear, but it was just sexual.'

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

'It's a bill collector!'

'The difference between Micro and Macro economics is this: Macro is what you owe, and Micro is what you're paid.'

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

'Well, call it 'diet stocks'. Your bank account won't get fat because of the dividend income.'

'This rebate check isn't big enough for both of us.'

Caution: Falling Businessmen - A Sign of the Times