Finance Lover Gifts

'Last night Warren Buffett came to me in a dream and whispered in my ear, but it was just sexual.'

'I can't speak for everyone in the 99%, but around here things are still pretty lousy.'

"I take it your portfolio is doing well?"

'...We've been analyzing this company's stock for the past 25 years!'

'I don't answer questions about investments. The subject is much to complicated and best left to professional advisors.'

'I sure thought we were done for when we flat-lined like that.'

'If there's one thing the British are famous for, it's talking about the banks.'

"They approve of 'greed' down here, so they let me take my portfolio with me."

'Do we have any stocks rated 'cute'?'

'When to sell a stock? My rule has been to do it when I'm ready to skip the country with my client's assets.'

Investments: R.K Dumwiddle 'Bullish' since 1929.

'Looks like it might be time to dust off the old dollar-cost averaging speech once again.'

Fatcat pay

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

European currency on the edge.

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Economy - USA.

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

What do you suggest we do about this?

'A short economics test - if you bought something for