Financial Tale Lover Gifts

'...but then the Dow rallied and the blue chips began to rise...'

The day the stock market went UP.

Sub-prime Bear

Jumping Wall Street.

"Your resume's very impressive, but we're looking for a financial wizard."

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

Dollars Press Conference

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

'Last night Warren Buffett came to me in a dream and whispered in my ear, but it was just sexual.'

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

'Do we have any stocks rated 'cute'?'

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

'That's all for now. We'll find out if our hero emerges from Chapter 11 tomorrow.'

You think you have feelings of worthlessness? You ought to see my portfolio!

'If you kiss me, I'll cause the Dow Jones Industrial Average to soar, manufacturing and trade data to re-accelerate, and housing to rebound significantly throughout the remainder of this and the next quarter.'

'I sure thought we were done for when we flat-lined like that.'

'I can't take all the credit. My childhood imaginary friend picked a lot of my stocks.'

"Once upon a time, gold was 60 pounds an ounce."

'Frankly, I'm looking for someone who's tall, dark and solvent.'

White Collar Imposter

"I have complete confidence that the company will overcome its debt load."

"And that's how Twitter almost crashed the Dow."

Business Fairy Tales.

'I had to co-pay for the bagel.'

'When to sell a stock? My rule has been to do it when I'm ready to skip the country with my client's assets.'

'Stocks today remained unchanged on news 'the more things change, the more they stay the same''

"The stock market hit 50,000 and everyone lived happily ever after."

'Ask your doctor if investing in the market is right for you.'

Italy Shackled by the Euro Debt Crisis

"Pensions is a complicated business."

Stealth Taxman