Financial Fairy Tale Lover Gifts

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

The day the stock market went UP.

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

Sub-prime Bear

"Your resume's very impressive, but we're looking for a financial wizard."

'...and then the DOW rallied six hundred points and the three bears felt like idiots...'

All I want for Christmas is a modest recovery in the GDP, along with expectations that the year-over-year growth rate will significantly improve in 2014.'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

'...but then the Dow rallied and the blue chips began to rise...'

"If you believe, clap your hands. Don't let our IPO die!"

'That's all for now. We'll find out if our hero emerges from Chapter 11 tomorrow.'

Business Fairy Tales.

"The stock market hit 50,000 and everyone lived happily ever after."

"Tonight's story is about sustainable economic growth without quantitative easing."

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

Symbols of Wall St.

'My wife left me and I lost my fortune. Well, not in this order.'

"I wish I was less gullible when it comes to money."

'Another golden egg Mr. Goose! At this rate you'll be a millionaire soon!'

"That's Jack from accounting. He's a magic bean counter."

'How to profit from a financial meltdown.'

'I'm sorry my Queen, but Snow White also has a much healthier portfolio than you do.'

'Ever wonder how you're going to pay off your school loan?'

'Is there any point in the little piggy going to market?'

'So the stock market hit 12,000 and everyone lived happily ever after.'

"Sounds good, but what do I have to put up as collateral?"

'Everyone lived happily ever after? Was the Stock at an all time high then, like it is now?'

Porridge stocks are down

'No prince meets princess, prince saves princess and they live happily ever after again. Read me something about mutual funds and IRAs.'

'You used to be an investment consultant, Fred -- what should I do with this quarter I found?'