Fairytale Finance Fanatic Gifts

"That's Jack from accounting. He's a magic bean counter."

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

Sub-prime Bear

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

Born to raise interest rates.

"Your resume's very impressive, but we're looking for a financial wizard."

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

Overdraft limit.

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

I am billing, therefore I am.

"Tell me the fairytale about the economy."

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

A few Halloween costume ideas.

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

Updated Proverbs. We come into the world with nothing. And leave deeply in debt!

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

'Pep's finance' man confused and scared of 'Real estate', 'Gold' etc

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

Fat Cat & Accountant - 'How much tax can I avoid by becoming a Philanthropist?'

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'OF COURSE we're still lending! What do you need? Comb? Razor? Toothbrush?'

'The only way you can become a millionaire by investing in savings accounts, is to invest millions in savings accounts.'